Editor's note: Brent and Michaele LaVigne returned recently from a two-year assignment coordinating the partnership between Bethany First Church of the Nazarene, Oklahoma, U.S., and the Church of the Nazarene ministry in Swaziland.
Since being back in the United States just over a month, we’ve been asked a lot of questions about Swaziland. Among the Top 5 is: "What’s the biggest thing you learned?" Superlative questions are always the hardest, but this has been especially difficult to answer. I think we will continue to reap lessons from our time in Swaziland for years to come, but in this last month a few things have crystallized in our minds.
I have learned the truth that compassion is a lifestyle. Working with Americans and other Westerners in a developing country, I watched the discomfort and shock that comes with seeing poverty one has never before encountered. Often as such a person is processing new thoughts and emotions, he or she ask, “Why do the Swazis not have compassion on their own people?” Usually “the Swazis” referred to the collective society of systems and culture, not individuals. They were basically asking how the people could let it get this bad for this child or this person with HIV.
Of course, there are many individuals who exhibit stronger compassion that anyone I’ve ever known. But in our sweeping, generalizing analysis of an unfamiliar situation we often look over those small things.
Compassion as a lifestyle
It is not the one-time crisis events that determine whether individuals are compassionate. Rather, it is the daily -- even hourly -- decisions that are made. It is the motivation or goal of our life that determines our compassion.
Anyone can give clothes to a person in rags, yet even that can be motivated by guilt or a sense of pride or obligation. But what motivates people like Evelyn and Mary of the Nazarene HIV/AIDS task force to search out the people in rags?
Anyone can give medicine to the sick person who comes through the door, but what drives someone to look for the sickest, weakest people who can’t get off the floor let alone take themselves to a doctor?
A compassionate person is not one who merely gives out the right materials to a person in need at the right time. Rather, a compassionate person is one who has made compassion into a way of life and not just an event. Mary and Evelyn and those who work with them have re-ordered their lives to minister to the poor, sick, dying, parentless and hungry. Yes, Swaziland could use many more people like that; but who are we as “outsiders” to say that Swazis have no compassion in light of this? And how many people of Mary and Evelyn’s stature can we boast of in our own churches and communities?
The longer I was with the people, the more I realized we were the ones without compassion – at least the kind of compassion I saw in them. What would it look like if I lived a lifestyle of compassion at home in America like they do in Swaziland? How many of us have been so filled with God’s compassion for others that we went looking for people in need? I don’t know if I’ve ever done that. Usually I’m doing good if I have a compassionate response when a need is staring me in the face.
Compassion that comes from God
At times this revelation has left me feeling hopelessly bad and inadequate. Yet I have been reminded that yes, compassion is a way of life, but it is part of the whole new life God is shaping in me. As the Spirit works in me to make me more like Christ, I cannot help but become compassionate – because Christ is. Compassion is a lifestyle, but it is part of the lifestyle of a disciple of Christ. If we are growing into discipleship, we will certainly be growing into compassion. And it will be a compassion rooted in our way of life, not just special events.
Out of necessity, I have learned how to trust God for some of the simplest things. In regular American life, we have good systems in place to get us what we need or want. (If you just rolled your eyes as if to say, "Well, sometimes our systems are good…" then you need to spend time in Africa. Our systems are good. Period.) We rely on systems to make things fast and easy because the customer is always right.
The downside is that we unknowingly become self-absorbed consumers who expect that things should be fast and easy. Yet systems and customer service are not the strong suits of Swaziland. Needless to say there were times we literally prayed to get online so we could send an e-mail. There was also the time our four pieces of luggage were lost in Johannesburg, and no one at the airport could help us at all. To make this long story short, I finally stopped trying to find my bags, prayed about it, and three hours later they were found.
Another story that comes to mind is when we needed to hire a crane to lift a container of medical supplies that was being shipped to the hospital. After calling company after company and hitting roadblock after roadblock, I was exhausted and on the verge of tears. I slumped into a chair in our living room to pray, and ended up asleep. An hour later I awoke to the phone ringing and found out the whole problem was solved while I slept. Each of these situations (and many more) taught me what I said I already knew: that we serve a powerful God who cares about the smallest details of our lives, and has resources and methods we can’t even imagine.
Learning to lean
Coming back to America, I was worried that I might lose this precious gift in the land of customer service and orderly systems. We had learned to rely on God more than others or ourselves, and we didn’t want to revert back. So Brent and I prayed that God would help us to see Him and know Him here as we did in Swaziland. And already, He has.
On our second week back, I was flying from Maryland to Wisconsin for a conference. There was a problem with my boarding pass, and I was sent from the front of the security check-in line to the back of a customer service line with 20 minutes until my plane boarded. I was feeling anxious and growing ever-more worried as the time stretched out and the line got no shorter.
I began to think about customer service and how I could push myself to the front by yelling, "My plane is boarding in 15 minutes, let me through!" I knew people would not be happy, but they would probably let me. But then I thought about what I would do if this line were in Swaziland. I would wait quietly like everyone else and pray that somehow God would not let me miss my flight.
So I did that instead of pushing and yelling. Not one minute later an airline employee came through the line asking what people needed, and I told her (not as calmly as I would like) about my situation. She took me to the front of the line, got me my boarding pass, and sent me on my way. I got through security, boarded the plane, and even had time to buy breakfast on the way.
Brent and I are looking forward to our next adventure which will take us to Bethany, Oklahoma. Michaele has been given the opportunity to work at Bethany First Church on staff as someone who will work alongside people to find places they can serve their communities.
We think daily of our friends in Swaziland and look forward to the next time that we will be able to see them and work alongside them.
-- Michaele and Brent LaVigne recently served as Mission Corps missionaries in Swaziland, as on-site coordinators for the partnership between Bethany First Church of the Nazarene (Oklahoma City, U.S.) and the Swaziland Nazarene churches and institutions. Visit www.swazipartners.org.