Paulina: Eyes of God

Have you ever walked into a room or interrupted a conversation when you instantly knew you weren’t supposed to be there -- or you at least felt like you weren’t? At times, it seems as if that’s what happens with me in my journey with God – God is obviously at work and I walk in on what He’s doing; feeling like I’m intruding or invading some sacred event that’s not intended for me.

That scenario is what happened when God introduced me to one of His most beautiful creations, a two-year-old orphan named Paulina.

In 2008, through our children’s art instructor, my wife Pam and I were introduced to a couple she knew who were opening an orphanage in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico. The director of this orphanage is Patricia Silis. How naïve I was to not recognize then how God was bringing me into His plan.

For several months after meeting Patricia, I intended to visit the orphanage, Los Ojos de Dios (the Eyes of God), to see how the Church of the Nazarene could possibly connect with them.

"Some day" was always far away down the road. Throughout the years, we became experts at allowing too many life excuses to get in the way: 1) We have three biological children that are "enough" responsibility; 2) we need to wait until we're more financially stable; 3) we need to wait until we're in a stable living place in our ministry...and the list could go on.

God has clearly laid on our hearts His command to minister to the widows and the orphans. I feel that this could be a special niche in the Nazarene Border Initiative. By ministering to widows and orphans—even kids living in broken homes—we could minister to the very people that God wants to pour out His grace upon.

People like the kids in Los Ojos de Dios. The children in this particular orphanage have nannies and "brothers and sisters," but no real home. No mom. No dad. The orphanage is filled to capacity. Every time a child is adopted, another abandoned child receives a new life at the orphanage. Many of the children come from the Raramuri Indians of Chihuahua and are abandoned because they have what are considered to be “special needs.”

In many places throughout the world, children with special needs are sometimes seen as “cursed” or a result of some terrible sin. As a result, they are not seen as viable members of the community and are merely thrown out as rubbish.

Imagine. God’s perfect creation – a child – tossed out as if he or she were a piece of waste. God’s gift. Discarded.

Los Ojos de Dios is the only orphanage in Chihuahua (the largest state in Mexico) that provides specific care for children with “special needs.” All the children who live at the orphanage have some type of physical, neurological or medical special need.

It was one of these children, 2 ½-year-old Paulina, whom I met when I visited for no reason other than to investigate a possible ministry partnership.

I didn’t intend to walk in on what God was doing that day and I certainly didn't intend for Paulina to steal my heart. After all, several of the children were so eager to be hugged and loved on. But it was Paulina who kept running to me and hugging me and wanting me to hold her. Then, she looked at me as I was holding her and asked, "Beso, Papa?" (In English, “Kiss, Daddy?”)

Now, I’m not typically the guy who is easily swayed, at least emotionally. I’ve worked with children long enough to know that they can be masters at manipulating your heart strings. However, in that moment it was as if God began asking the questions: When are you going to be serious about caring for orphans? Are you willing to choose an orphan to be a part of your very own family? Are you going to move beyond child sponsorship to truly investing in the life of one of MY children?

It was one of those moments when God questions your heart and you inescapably know it’s His voice.

Paulina is from the Raramuri Indians, indigenous people living in northern Chihuahua, connected to the Aztecs. She was born with her right arm developed only to her elbow, missing her forearm and right hand. To some, this condition may be perceived to be a handicap, however that has not crossed Paulina’s mind. She is a resilient, active and very capable little girl – with a smile that will melt heart of the most unsuspecting person.

At just five days old, Paulina’s birth parents brought her to a hospital and left her there.

This is a significant detail in Paulina’s young life.

The Raramuri believe the myth that if a child is born with any type of perceived defect, it is a curse from the Devil. The remedy is to throw her out. It is not unlikely for a child born with Paulina’s profile to be discarded like trash. In fact, some of the children at Los Ojos de Dios have been rescued from dump sites.

This is why Paulina’s story is so significant: Her parents cared for her for five days. For five days, they most likely toiled over the difficult decision on what to do with their precious baby—a baby they longed to care for but was now a liability within the community. They felt forced to do the unthinkable and throw her away.

Courageously, this young couple chose life, carefully taking Paulina to a hospital where they knew she would receive care and a future.

The hour and a half back into El Paso gave me time to listen to God closely enough to know that I needed to talk with Pam about the experience I had. When I got home it's all we could talk about. We talked about Paulina; we talked about how God has been directing us in Scripture; we talked about the financial factors that would inhibit our ability to adopt; we talked about the impact this would have on the people God allows us to minister to; we talked about the impact it would make on ONE child; we talked about the potential of whether our organization would even permit us to move in this direction. In spite of the questions and uncertainties, it made sense for us to see how God was opening this door.

International adoption laws are constantly changing and we’re finding ourselves becoming experts in navigating this new world. Meanwhile, every chance we get, we find ourselves making the 45-minute trip from our house to Paulina’s temporary home to visit.  We can’t wait for her to be a part of our “forever family.”

These past few months of waiting have unveiled countless stories of God’s confirmation in our lives intertwined with His sovereign plan to use this part of our journey to draw other people closer to Him.